The world is really turning into chaos. Sometimes, we don’t even know what is happening anymore. We do things we don’t mean to do and things we never expected happen to us. And to be honest, I just don’t know what to do anymore with all the bad things happening. So first of all I would have to apologize when I do not act when I should have; that I don’t always listen or say the things that you either want to or need to hear. I’m sorry that it seems like we’re not as close as before. We can work on that. I’ve learned that with all these bad things happening, there’s one thing that I can do no matter what happens. I can hope, and that’s probably why people see me as a very cheerful person even though I’m not. So I think you should learn to hope also, and act based on hope. I’m not saying that being hopeful that something is going to happen you act thinking that it’s going to happen. I’m saying that you don’t feel down. You let yourself feel at peace thinking it could go two ways and if it doesn’t go the way you want, it matters less. What matters more is that you’re still alive. While alive you can do so many things. Now I know that you know this but the thing is that we pass by life so quickly that we fail to notice even the most obvious of things. I just want you to remember that it shouldn’t take the throwing of a brick or a slap in the face to remember to slow down.
Another thing I would like you to know is that you are smart, beautiful and a very capable girl or soon to be woman. As your symbolic dad, I only have one thing for you to do and that is to never deny the 1st statement of this paragraph. It is true and you should never doubt your capabilities when you really need to do something. Normally, when I know I need something done, I push myself beyond despair. I try to make myself believe that I can do it, and I will keep doing it no matter what but my work will never be able to satisfy me if I didn’t do it while not believing. I keep saying, we’ll see, we’ll see and it’s just so darn annoying. When you have something to do, FAITH AND BELIEF are already 50 percent! The rest is just making it happen.
Another thing, I know that you really feel bad ‘cause you’ve lost a lot of friends and you’re not always surrounded by people you’re okay with. Just live through it. You are independent and very capable. You’ll live. And you don’t need a large group of friends at all to get through life. You only need up to a select few whom you know won’t abandon you at all. Kata’s one of the best examples I’ve seen so far. Randall’s near her stand point too. Plus you’ve got me. I will do whatever I can and even whatever I can’t I’ll still try anyway. People say that it’s wasted effort if you just do something but you know you’re gonna fail anyway. That’s only half correct. It is true but then there’s the experience and the idea that you didn’t give up. That’s something to be proud of.
Now I did not start writing just tonight. NO WAY! I would never do that. I started a lot earlier and I just wanted to make this letter really personal. I also want you to cry. All this is really coming out of my heart and this is really the way I feel. I told you to trust me because when you were talking to me that was when I was making this part. I don’t want you to expect anything from me. I might not be able to live up to it. I just want you to hope that I did do this. Now when it comes to your retreat, you better tell me! I will still write another one but since you don’t get to go tomorrow, at least you’ll still be able to read this. I think we don’t say this enough but yeah, we are friends, close friends. Never forget that. I always wanna take care of my friends. I will always do whatever I can to make you feel better Rhozy. You can count on that. I want you to, for tomorrow/today, whichever day you read this, just relax. Do something that calms you down. That you wanna do. Talk to me if you want, cuss, shout, do something crazy! Do something that is a sign that you are alive and that you still have a chance to live even though things don’t go as planned. You’re alive, you’re smart, you’re capable, and you’re definitely attractive. Here’s the thing, most guys are attracted to hot girls, but most of those guys don’t go out with them. You’re pretty already, no need to be hot ha ha ha.
Now I don’t want to say anymore because I might not be able to say anything for your actual retreat letter and I don’t want you to read something too long. Just relax, I’m always here for you, we are always here for you. What I said here, I normally say it again and again, but I never explain why. It’s something for anyone to think about ;). But anyway, have faith Rhozy, just have faith, not necessarily in God, but in YOURSELF and your FRIENDS. :D Ask and you shall receive…what you need.
Dustin Dee
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